Everyone from work had gone to a conference in a country house hotel. One day it was raining and one of my colleagues went out for a walk in the woods with the woman I fancied and whom I wanted to see, so I followed. Once through the woods we came to a rundown cottage which had a café upstairs. I went up and my colleagues were there, so I sat down next to the woman I fancied; but so was my Gaelic teacher, who was sharp with me on account of a snide remark I had made about her class on a feedback form, and when I turned back the woman I fancied had got up and gone downstairs. Somebody told me she'd been saying "I want him to kiss me," so I followed her to a downstairs bedroom where she was sitting on the floor. I sat down next to her and we each put a piece of chocolate in the other's mouth before sharing a long and passionate kiss, a trick she had learned in her youth.
Later she had a shower, and allowed me to watch while she was dressing. Whilst doing this, she was telling me something really important, but I couldn't hear her properly. It was either that she was leaving her husband, or that she was pregnant, or both. I knew that if she was pregnant it couldn't be mine because I had never slept with her, but if she was leaving her husband I wanted her to be with me instead, and I got frustrated because she wouldn't repeat what she had said. Soon everyone had gone and we went out into the back garden, which had overgrown vegetable patches and a dilapidated shed. There we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild dogs and retard children beating us with large sticks. We managed to escape and ran back out the front where a colleague had pulled up in his car. Before she got in and they drove off, I tried to talk to her again but she still wouldn't repeat what she had said.
The next morning I knew she would be at the cottage again for a meeting with the management and I went there early so I could speak to her when she arrived. When she got there I cornered her in the kitchen and tried to get her to tell me again what she had said, and she was just about to when the management arrived and she was called away to a meeting in the café upstairs.
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Friday, 4 March 2011
Portrait of a girl I used to know
Walking down the street the other evening I did a double take upon seeing a lassie who looked just like this girl called Ruth* that I used to go to church with. It got me to thinking about this girl for the first time in years. Now Ruth always seemed a little weird. To start with, her parents were ancient. I always assumed she was adopted, because her mother no way looked young enough to have borne her naturally. Then there were her clothes. Now Ruth was a grade A student, fearsomely intelligent, and probably a genius - I believe she now has a PhD - and, like many of that ilk, was both socially and sartorially inept. She was in her late teens when I was at the start of mine, but she always dressed exactly like an old maid. We're talking seriously antiquated garb here - frilly blouses with ruched collars that buttoned all the way up to the throat, and ankle-length, pleated, floral-patterned skirts. Plus she was hopelessly myopic and wore coke-bottle-bottom glasses with those petal-shaped frames that were still just about in fashion at the end of the 1950s. She was very tall and had long, slightly curly hair that always looked rather straggly, as though she couldn't be bothered to style it. Worst of all, she was a physicist, which meant that she was obsessed with stuff like quantum mechanics, but was unable to hold a conversation about pop culture.
Years later, I was amazed when my mother told me that Ruth had been sweet on me. I was certainly never aware of it at the time. Ruth was no great beauty, but she could probably have looked fairly decent if she'd ditched the 50s specs, styled her hair, and stopped dressing like a 70-year-old woman. But she still wouldn't have snared my attention unless she'd developed a bit of attitude and stopped simpering all over the place. Meek, submissive girls have never done it for me - I've always been attracted to bold, assertive women who know who they are and what they want. I was even more dumbfounded when my mum went on to tell me that Ruth is now married. I can't imagine how that happened - either she significantly smartened up her act when she got to university, or she met a guy who was just like her... what a thought!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent... and the guilty.
Years later, I was amazed when my mother told me that Ruth had been sweet on me. I was certainly never aware of it at the time. Ruth was no great beauty, but she could probably have looked fairly decent if she'd ditched the 50s specs, styled her hair, and stopped dressing like a 70-year-old woman. But she still wouldn't have snared my attention unless she'd developed a bit of attitude and stopped simpering all over the place. Meek, submissive girls have never done it for me - I've always been attracted to bold, assertive women who know who they are and what they want. I was even more dumbfounded when my mum went on to tell me that Ruth is now married. I can't imagine how that happened - either she significantly smartened up her act when she got to university, or she met a guy who was just like her... what a thought!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent... and the guilty.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Salome
The other night I watched the New York Metropolitan Opera's 2008 production of Richard Strauss's Salome on DVD. I've been getting into opera for a little while now but this was a far cry from the bel canto stuff I cut my teeth on. It's also the first time I've ever listened to anything by Strauss - and what a place to start! This adaptation of Oscar Wilde's scandalous play is so much more than "just music"; the word Gesamtkunstwerk could have been coined for it. The music is dark, dense and dissonant, the leading role makes incredible physical and mental demands on the singer, and the opera's conclusion is just as shocking, and emotionally devastating, as when it premiered in 1905. The Met's production is stark and relatively minimal, letting nothing detract from the performances - and what performances they are. Surely few can ever have handled the lead role with such aplomb as dynamite Finnish soprano Karita Mattila, who dominates the stage for every second she is on it.
Whilst it may seem almost impossible, in light of its content, to believe that this work was written and first performed at the beginning of the last century, in other respects it is clear that the play, with its heady brew of religiosity, eroticism and self-disgust, could really only be a product of the Victorian era. Were Wilde alive today, he might be seen as a bit of a dandy; in his day, he was a dangerous subversive. The powers that be, and the literary establishment, were terrified of him because he represented a kind of liberation for which the world was simply not yet ready - and yet his ideas were perfectly in tune with other cultural and scientific advances of the era, notably the psychoanalysis of Freud and his contemporaries. Salome retains the power to shock both because it is peopled with archetypes and because it speaks to deep-rooted anxieties and desires we all share, but often dare not name.
Whilst it may seem almost impossible, in light of its content, to believe that this work was written and first performed at the beginning of the last century, in other respects it is clear that the play, with its heady brew of religiosity, eroticism and self-disgust, could really only be a product of the Victorian era. Were Wilde alive today, he might be seen as a bit of a dandy; in his day, he was a dangerous subversive. The powers that be, and the literary establishment, were terrified of him because he represented a kind of liberation for which the world was simply not yet ready - and yet his ideas were perfectly in tune with other cultural and scientific advances of the era, notably the psychoanalysis of Freud and his contemporaries. Salome retains the power to shock both because it is peopled with archetypes and because it speaks to deep-rooted anxieties and desires we all share, but often dare not name.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Seefeel
I went to see the seminal Seefeel last night at the fantastic new King's Place arts centre in King's Cross, a towering edifice of glass and steel with a vast atrium inside, an art gallery and two concert halls. The band have just released their eponymous fourth album, which is their first in almost fifteen years. They were famously the first band with guitars to be signed by cult electronica label Warp, and are essentially a live outfit with a rock setup, though the music undergoes digital processing in real time. The band now features a new rhythm section in the shape of bassist Shigeru Ishihara (aka DJ Scotch Egg) and former Boredoms drummer Iida Kazuhisa.
Seefeel's music, especially their recent work and especially their live show, can best be described as a cross between shoegaze, doom metal, dub, hip-hop and glitch. Sarah Peacock's looped, wordless vocals bear the unmistakeable influence of the Cocteau Twins' Liz Fraser; and while the pummelling sheets and shards of guitar feedback, the massive, shuddering bass and high-intensity, watertight drumming are almost overwhelming, they leave room for the all-important ethereal melodies.
The set was almost ridiculously short (fractionally over an hour), with no support bar an anonymous DJ, and no encore. But I didn't feel particularly short-changed, as I don't know if I could have managed much more at that punishing volume. I went up to the stage at the end with the other gear geeks and got a peek at the band's equipment as well - a baffling mountain of effects pedals, laptops and drum machines. Seefeel are an institution and no-one else sounds like them. Do yourself a favour and check out their albums for Warp, Succour and the new one. And if you're able to catch them live on their forthcoming tour, don't miss it - it's an awesome experience.
Seefeel's music, especially their recent work and especially their live show, can best be described as a cross between shoegaze, doom metal, dub, hip-hop and glitch. Sarah Peacock's looped, wordless vocals bear the unmistakeable influence of the Cocteau Twins' Liz Fraser; and while the pummelling sheets and shards of guitar feedback, the massive, shuddering bass and high-intensity, watertight drumming are almost overwhelming, they leave room for the all-important ethereal melodies.
The set was almost ridiculously short (fractionally over an hour), with no support bar an anonymous DJ, and no encore. But I didn't feel particularly short-changed, as I don't know if I could have managed much more at that punishing volume. I went up to the stage at the end with the other gear geeks and got a peek at the band's equipment as well - a baffling mountain of effects pedals, laptops and drum machines. Seefeel are an institution and no-one else sounds like them. Do yourself a favour and check out their albums for Warp, Succour and the new one. And if you're able to catch them live on their forthcoming tour, don't miss it - it's an awesome experience.
Thursday, 13 January 2011
Dream 07/01/11
It was the last day of school and we were all supposed to be going on a trip so everyone gathered outside the gates and piled their stuff up against the wall. I put my umbrella and coat there too and went off to find my mates, but then it was announced that the trip was cancelled and we could all go home, so I started looking for my coat, but couldn’t find it and became convinced that someone had nicked it. But eventually I found it with my mum, who had come to remind me that I had to meet her later at a restaurant for a big family party to which everyone was coming. Promising her I’d be there, I jumped on a bus, which was packed and was curiously being driven by my old mate from work, Pete. But he didn’t stop at the right stop and went right on to the end of the route, and everybody on the bus was irate, including me, as I realized I would have to walk about a mile back to the restaurant.
For some reason I seemed to have lost my shoes and socks, and the streets were littered with broken glass because there had just been some kind of parade. A wooden fence ran alongside the pavement and I found a gate in it which was ajar, so I looked through and saw it was the grounds of a ruined castle which had been turned into some kind of tourist attraction. It was grassy, so I decided to go in and walk along the inside of the fence. I found I was on the battlements and had to jump down from several walls, until I got to one which was too high for me to jump so I had to go down a long grassy slope which led to the main courtyard of the castle. I tried to leave, but two heavies barred the gate and told me that I had entered the premises illegally and if I wanted to leave I would have to pay the £23.50 admission fee. I explained what had happened, then tried to argue that they should have secured the site better, but all this fell on deaf ears so I decided I’d better just pay it so I could get away. The site was closing and I had no cash so I had to go back with one of the heavies, who was the manager, to his house, which was in the grounds, where he kept the credit card machine. But once we got there he got distracted by his baby son who was crawling around on the floor and I was able to slip out without paying.
The gates were now unmanned so I was able to get out and run down a grassy slope and found myself in a park. I ran through the park and back onto the street; I knew where I was now and that it was not far to the restaurant. But the streets had not yet been cleared and I got a bit of glass stuck in my foot, but I pulled it out and managed to limp to the restaurant just in time for the party.
For some reason I seemed to have lost my shoes and socks, and the streets were littered with broken glass because there had just been some kind of parade. A wooden fence ran alongside the pavement and I found a gate in it which was ajar, so I looked through and saw it was the grounds of a ruined castle which had been turned into some kind of tourist attraction. It was grassy, so I decided to go in and walk along the inside of the fence. I found I was on the battlements and had to jump down from several walls, until I got to one which was too high for me to jump so I had to go down a long grassy slope which led to the main courtyard of the castle. I tried to leave, but two heavies barred the gate and told me that I had entered the premises illegally and if I wanted to leave I would have to pay the £23.50 admission fee. I explained what had happened, then tried to argue that they should have secured the site better, but all this fell on deaf ears so I decided I’d better just pay it so I could get away. The site was closing and I had no cash so I had to go back with one of the heavies, who was the manager, to his house, which was in the grounds, where he kept the credit card machine. But once we got there he got distracted by his baby son who was crawling around on the floor and I was able to slip out without paying.
The gates were now unmanned so I was able to get out and run down a grassy slope and found myself in a park. I ran through the park and back onto the street; I knew where I was now and that it was not far to the restaurant. But the streets had not yet been cleared and I got a bit of glass stuck in my foot, but I pulled it out and managed to limp to the restaurant just in time for the party.
Monday, 20 December 2010
The Best Of 2010
I’m exceptionally proud to present the return this year of my annual year-end best-of list. Lovingly compiled and painstakingly sequenced by yours truly, this is the definitive selection of the tracks that have been floating my boat this year. As usual, it’s an eclectic, international mix: there’s sweet pop and next-level indie rock from Japan; epic, literate, melancholy metal from the United States; uplifting, euphoric trance from the Netherlands; a tragic tale of heartbreak from the highlands of Scotland; chilling mediaeval industrial from Germany – and more. There’s also the sound of a couple of bands most thought long past their prime coming back with some of their best ever material. In short, there’s something here for everyone with a musically open mind. The selection can be downloaded here. As ever, please feel free to comment!
1. Magnetic Man - "Flying Into Tokyo" from the album "Magnetic Man"
This gorgeous, filmic string instrumental was the most interesting and refreshing track on the dubstep supergroup's debut album.
2. DaizyStripper - "Trigger" from the album "Birth"
The indie visual kei band released not one, but two debut albums on the same day and this uplifting, propulsive pop-rock track is a definite highlight.
3. Kamelot - "Hunter's Season" from the album "Poetry For The Poisoned"
Epic, melancholy metal with amazing, cryptic lyrics which expertly balances melody with brute force.
4. Armin van Buuren & Sophie Ellis-Bextor - "Not Giving Up On Love" from the album "Mirage"
The "Groovejet" star returns after years in the wilderness with this standout cut from the King of Trance's new solo album.
5. School Food Punishment - "Butterfly Swimmer" from the album "Amp-Reflection"
Amazing, futuristic dance-rock from Japan, which sounds programmed but is, astonishingly, all played live.
6. Alan - "Kaze ni Mukau Hana" ("Flower Facing The Wind") from the single of the same name
This huge, Disneyesque ballad, sung by the velvet-voiced Tibetan pop star, is the theme song from an epic samurai movie.
7. Norma Jean - "Falling From The Sky: Day Seven" from the album "Meridional"
More cryptic, literate metal, the mellowest and definitely the most intriguing track from this great band's new album.
8. The Bug - "Skeng (Autechre mix)" from the compilation "Ninja Tune XX"
Futuristic dancehall reworked by the IDM legends into something cold and utterly inhuman, this is one of the most chilling things you are ever likely to hear.
9. Heimataerde - "Gloria Et Morte" from the album "Unwesen"
The Templar-obsessed German mediaeval industrial act return with this dark and haunting track from their new masterpiece.
10. Roger Shah & Signum - "Ancient World (long haul flight mix)" from the compilation "Magic Island Vol.3"
Pumping, hands-in-the-air trance with some of the most euphoric melodies of the year, this will take you right back to the summer.
11. Dàimh - "Mo Mhàili Bheag Òg" ("My Little Young Màili") from the album "Diversions"
This absolutely heartrending song from the Gaelic folk supergroup is narrated by a soldier awaiting trial for the murder of his wife, having accidentally killed her in the mêlée when a squad of soldiers came to arrest him.
12. Ash - "Insects" from the album "A-Z Vol.2"
One of the very best ever songs from the Northern Irish indie rockers, who this year released a new single every fortnight.
13. Korn - "Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" from the album "Korn III: Remember Who You Are"
Another blistering return to form from the Californian nu-metal pioneers, who went back to basics on their raw and cathartic new album.
14. LM.C - "Bokura no Mirai" ("Our Future") from the album "Wonderful Wonderholic"
Wonderful, epic, heartbreaking, beautiful pop-rock from the visual kei duo featuring guitarist Aiji, late of the sorely lamented Pierrot.
15. 9 Goats Black Out - "Heaven" from the album "Tanatos"
One of the most gorgeous, otherworldly visual kei songs ever written, this seven-minute monster captivates from beginning to end.
16. Hans Zimmer, Geoff Zanelli & Blake Neely - "Honor" from the album "The Pacific"
This rousing, deeply emotional piece for brass and strings was the theme for the acclaimed TV series about US operations in the Pacific theatre during WWII.
1. Magnetic Man - "Flying Into Tokyo" from the album "Magnetic Man"
This gorgeous, filmic string instrumental was the most interesting and refreshing track on the dubstep supergroup's debut album.
2. DaizyStripper - "Trigger" from the album "Birth"
The indie visual kei band released not one, but two debut albums on the same day and this uplifting, propulsive pop-rock track is a definite highlight.
3. Kamelot - "Hunter's Season" from the album "Poetry For The Poisoned"
Epic, melancholy metal with amazing, cryptic lyrics which expertly balances melody with brute force.
4. Armin van Buuren & Sophie Ellis-Bextor - "Not Giving Up On Love" from the album "Mirage"
The "Groovejet" star returns after years in the wilderness with this standout cut from the King of Trance's new solo album.
5. School Food Punishment - "Butterfly Swimmer" from the album "Amp-Reflection"
Amazing, futuristic dance-rock from Japan, which sounds programmed but is, astonishingly, all played live.
6. Alan - "Kaze ni Mukau Hana" ("Flower Facing The Wind") from the single of the same name
This huge, Disneyesque ballad, sung by the velvet-voiced Tibetan pop star, is the theme song from an epic samurai movie.
7. Norma Jean - "Falling From The Sky: Day Seven" from the album "Meridional"
More cryptic, literate metal, the mellowest and definitely the most intriguing track from this great band's new album.
8. The Bug - "Skeng (Autechre mix)" from the compilation "Ninja Tune XX"
Futuristic dancehall reworked by the IDM legends into something cold and utterly inhuman, this is one of the most chilling things you are ever likely to hear.
9. Heimataerde - "Gloria Et Morte" from the album "Unwesen"
The Templar-obsessed German mediaeval industrial act return with this dark and haunting track from their new masterpiece.
10. Roger Shah & Signum - "Ancient World (long haul flight mix)" from the compilation "Magic Island Vol.3"
Pumping, hands-in-the-air trance with some of the most euphoric melodies of the year, this will take you right back to the summer.
11. Dàimh - "Mo Mhàili Bheag Òg" ("My Little Young Màili") from the album "Diversions"
This absolutely heartrending song from the Gaelic folk supergroup is narrated by a soldier awaiting trial for the murder of his wife, having accidentally killed her in the mêlée when a squad of soldiers came to arrest him.
12. Ash - "Insects" from the album "A-Z Vol.2"
One of the very best ever songs from the Northern Irish indie rockers, who this year released a new single every fortnight.
13. Korn - "Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" from the album "Korn III: Remember Who You Are"
Another blistering return to form from the Californian nu-metal pioneers, who went back to basics on their raw and cathartic new album.
14. LM.C - "Bokura no Mirai" ("Our Future") from the album "Wonderful Wonderholic"
Wonderful, epic, heartbreaking, beautiful pop-rock from the visual kei duo featuring guitarist Aiji, late of the sorely lamented Pierrot.
15. 9 Goats Black Out - "Heaven" from the album "Tanatos"
One of the most gorgeous, otherworldly visual kei songs ever written, this seven-minute monster captivates from beginning to end.
16. Hans Zimmer, Geoff Zanelli & Blake Neely - "Honor" from the album "The Pacific"
This rousing, deeply emotional piece for brass and strings was the theme for the acclaimed TV series about US operations in the Pacific theatre during WWII.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Some of the many weird things about visual kei
OK, so I've been into this visual kei stuff for quite some time now and I'm still getting my head around some of the really weird things about it.
1. They all look like chicks. The aesthetic is meant to be "androgynous" but to me, that means you can't tell whether they're men or women; you look at these guys and they just look like women. That's not androgyny, people.
2. The concept. Every band has to have a "concept", and all their looks, lyrics and music are supposed to stem from this. Why? Why can't they just play music? Why can't they write about whatever they want, whenever they want?
3. Everything is released in multiple editions. Now in the West, you'll often see two CD versions of an album, one of which will be more expensive and will usually include a couple of bonus tracks and a DVD featuring a few promo videos and/or live clips. In Japan, it's not just albums, but singles as well - and often there are three different versions. It's not just the majors that do this, either - the indies have got in on the act as well.
Singles still sell in Japan for the simple reason that they are always new material. The idea of releasing tracks as singles that have already been released on an album, like they do in the West, is incomprehensible and anathema to the Japanese. Why would you? (I have to say I'm with them on this one.) So for instance, you'll get a single with two tracks, released in three editions: the first will include a DVD featuring the promo video ("PV") for the lead track; the second will include a DVD with a PV for the other track; and the third ("regular") edition will be CD only, but will have an additional track. So if you're a "real fan" of the band and you want both the videos on DVD (rather than just watching them on YouTube), and the extra track, then you "have to" buy all three versions.
Then they'll do this with the album as well, filming PVs for two non-single album tracks for the DVD versions, and putting an extra track on the third version. And people will buy them all! Me, I don't give two hoots about music videos or bonus DVDs, so I like this arrangement - I just buy the regular edition; it's cheaper and has an extra track.
4. Engrish. Not only will you get single words of English dropped randomly into song titles and lyrics for aesthetic effect, you'll get entire songs written in what is basically gibberish, where the guy has thought it would be über-cool to write a song in English even though he clearly can hardly speak a word of it. Then there are the appalling liberties taken with case and punctuation. Because the Roman alphabet is so novel to the Japanese, they just switch between lower and upper case as they please, inserting random punctuation wherever they feel like it...
5. Tags. Which leads me on to the thing I get most irate about - the absolutism that the fans have about this. They insist on tagging the files in the exact same manner in which the song is written on the sleeve (wonky capital letters and all), and woe betide you if you write it different. The people on Last FM are the worst culprits for this, even going so far as ordering people to retag their files.
6. The major labels. In the West, when a band signs a major label deal, their fans brand them sellouts. In Japan, they rejoice. "Going major" is a cause for celebration and is what every band is working towards from day one - and every indie label, because unlike in the West, the band doesn't leave their old indie label and sign a new contract with the major; they remain signed to the indie, who basically license them to the major label, making a fat fee in the process.
Another weird thing is when a band goes major, their career starts over from scratch; even if they've recorded like five albums, the major label will never make any mention of this - it's like it never happened. Their first album for the major is their "first album", period. And what's more, they make a really big deal out of how many releases the band has had ("Ayu drops her 34th single!"), as though pumping out "product" is the name of the game.
7. The specialist vocabulary. English words take on bizarre new meanings in Japanese. For instance, a gig is known as a "live" (because, presumably, the band plays live). This is a textbook example of wasei-eigo in action. Then, if a band is sufficiently popular, they'll get to play "oneman" lives - where they play without a support act. What gets me is that western fans insist on using this terminology as well. "Live" is not a noun of English, people!
8. Their gigs have names. I can understand a tour having a name, but in Japan, the individual gigs, especially one-off shows, have names as well. Why?
1. They all look like chicks. The aesthetic is meant to be "androgynous" but to me, that means you can't tell whether they're men or women; you look at these guys and they just look like women. That's not androgyny, people.
2. The concept. Every band has to have a "concept", and all their looks, lyrics and music are supposed to stem from this. Why? Why can't they just play music? Why can't they write about whatever they want, whenever they want?
3. Everything is released in multiple editions. Now in the West, you'll often see two CD versions of an album, one of which will be more expensive and will usually include a couple of bonus tracks and a DVD featuring a few promo videos and/or live clips. In Japan, it's not just albums, but singles as well - and often there are three different versions. It's not just the majors that do this, either - the indies have got in on the act as well.
Singles still sell in Japan for the simple reason that they are always new material. The idea of releasing tracks as singles that have already been released on an album, like they do in the West, is incomprehensible and anathema to the Japanese. Why would you? (I have to say I'm with them on this one.) So for instance, you'll get a single with two tracks, released in three editions: the first will include a DVD featuring the promo video ("PV") for the lead track; the second will include a DVD with a PV for the other track; and the third ("regular") edition will be CD only, but will have an additional track. So if you're a "real fan" of the band and you want both the videos on DVD (rather than just watching them on YouTube), and the extra track, then you "have to" buy all three versions.
Then they'll do this with the album as well, filming PVs for two non-single album tracks for the DVD versions, and putting an extra track on the third version. And people will buy them all! Me, I don't give two hoots about music videos or bonus DVDs, so I like this arrangement - I just buy the regular edition; it's cheaper and has an extra track.
4. Engrish. Not only will you get single words of English dropped randomly into song titles and lyrics for aesthetic effect, you'll get entire songs written in what is basically gibberish, where the guy has thought it would be über-cool to write a song in English even though he clearly can hardly speak a word of it. Then there are the appalling liberties taken with case and punctuation. Because the Roman alphabet is so novel to the Japanese, they just switch between lower and upper case as they please, inserting random punctuation wherever they feel like it...
5. Tags. Which leads me on to the thing I get most irate about - the absolutism that the fans have about this. They insist on tagging the files in the exact same manner in which the song is written on the sleeve (wonky capital letters and all), and woe betide you if you write it different. The people on Last FM are the worst culprits for this, even going so far as ordering people to retag their files.
6. The major labels. In the West, when a band signs a major label deal, their fans brand them sellouts. In Japan, they rejoice. "Going major" is a cause for celebration and is what every band is working towards from day one - and every indie label, because unlike in the West, the band doesn't leave their old indie label and sign a new contract with the major; they remain signed to the indie, who basically license them to the major label, making a fat fee in the process.
Another weird thing is when a band goes major, their career starts over from scratch; even if they've recorded like five albums, the major label will never make any mention of this - it's like it never happened. Their first album for the major is their "first album", period. And what's more, they make a really big deal out of how many releases the band has had ("Ayu drops her 34th single!"), as though pumping out "product" is the name of the game.
7. The specialist vocabulary. English words take on bizarre new meanings in Japanese. For instance, a gig is known as a "live" (because, presumably, the band plays live). This is a textbook example of wasei-eigo in action. Then, if a band is sufficiently popular, they'll get to play "oneman" lives - where they play without a support act. What gets me is that western fans insist on using this terminology as well. "Live" is not a noun of English, people!
8. Their gigs have names. I can understand a tour having a name, but in Japan, the individual gigs, especially one-off shows, have names as well. Why?
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